Susanne, a long-standing client, once told me that she was already 32 when she first went into a restaurant for dinner on her own. She felt watched by all the other guests which, of course, was not the case. It was her who could not handle this unusual situation. Why? Because for all her life she had gone out with her parents, her friends or her husband. She never thought that she could do this alone as well.
Why do so many women still have a problem with being alone?
Three answers immediately come to my mind:
- Because they are scared of loneliness
- Because they feel pushed to the edge of society
- Because they do not know what to do with themselves
Many women fear being alone most of all. They prefer living in less than perfect relationships, or remaining in unhappy partnerships to living a life by themselves.
Then again there are others, such as Susanne, who feel like outsiders as soon as they attend social events on their own. They fear not to be taken seriously without a man by their side, or being approached by unsympathetic men.
Many women in solid relationships have also not learned to treat themselves with some time-out, to spend hours or days by themselves, free of partners, family or everyday life. They simply do not know what to do with themselves, cannot deal with themselves, or have not interests and hobbies they could take up.
No idea how to arrange one’s life
Many women have no idea how to arrange their life joyfully. They think they can rely on being entertained, engaged or – worst case – dictated to by others. At the same time being on one’s own offers a great deal of advantages, such as
- being flexible
- acting self-determinedly
- living independently and free
- acting with self-responsibility
- planning one’s time freely
- being able to make spontaneous decisions
- getting to know oneself better
Well, still not convinced? Maybe I should carry on with some more persuasiveness in one of my next blogs!