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STOP BEING YOUR OWN WORST ENEMY! 10 STEPS FOR WOMEN WHO FINALLY WANT TO LIVE THEIR POTENTIAL

Do you sometimes move through life like a car that has the parking brake put on?

Do you block yourself because you are still chasing completely exaggerated or outdated ideas?

Are you continuously restricted by rigid patterns of thought and behaviour as well as by influences of your childhood?

Do your blockages swallow up too much of your energy, which you could apply more sensibly and profitably for your potential?

… Maybe you do not even notice your blockages in everyday life anymore …

… because they have become a part of you – or you have become a part of them,

… because you have always been that way and have not even hit on the idea to have a closer look at your “brake pads” yet, or

… because you are afraid or too lazy to have a closer look at your blockages and therefore are unable to understand in which patterns you are stuck or on which beaten tracks your life runs.

STOP BEING YOUR OWN WORST ENEMY!

I invite you to ponder over the following prompts at least once:

Step 1: Lay your self-pity to rest!

  • Do you sometimes think that things are easier for other people than they are for yourself?
  • Are you convinced that nobody is able to understand how big your problems are?
  • Do you have the feeling that life treats you unfairly?
  • Do you tend to speak of negative rather than positive things?
  • Do you think that your cares are bigger than most other people’s?

It is very simple to fall into the trap of self-pity and get stuck there. But as long as you are caught in this trap, you will be unable to make changes to yourself or your situation. As soon as you have freed yourself from your trap of self-pity, you will have new energies at your disposal that will help you take your life into your own hands.

Step 2: Forsake your stubbornness!

  • Are you holding on to past events?
  • Are you cleaving to your fixed ideas?
  • Are you unable to revise your opinion?
  • Do you have difficulty being a team player?
  • Are you leery of others?

It is rarely expedient to try to command everything and everybody. Frequently, paralysing fear is at the bottom of control addiction and the inability to let go of fixed ideas. It is really too bad that you waste so much energy, which you could apply much more profitably, through your fixation, stubbornness or fear of losing control.

Step 3: Pick yourself up after a failure!

  • Are you afraid to even think about a possible defeat?
  • Do you receive your self-worth from your success?
  • Are you afraid of looking like a loser to others?
  • Are you daunted by failure?
  • Do you resort to excuses when your plans do not work out?

Perhaps you should have a closer look at the subjects of failure, defeat and frustration, because it is possible that you feel like so many other people to whom failure is completely unacceptable. Many of us have been designed for success from an early age onwards, which is why failure is not tolerable or at least very difficult to tolerate for them. But maybe we should accept failure as an important part of our personal developmental process?

Step 4: Learn to cherish solitude!

  • Do you sometimes go to the restaurant, cinema or a concert alone?
  • Are you of the opinion that being alone is boring?
  • Do you continuously surround yourself with other people or are you continuously talking to someone on the mobile phone?
  • Do you think that meditations or keeping a diary are a complete waste of time?
  • Are the TV or the radio on in the background when you are alone at home?

Nowadays, it is simple to communicate with other people at the flick of a switch, no matter where they are right now. Maybe you have forgotten how to be alone, maybe you feel impelled to communicate with others all the time. Quite frequently fear of loneliness or of insignificance are at the bottom of this kind of behaviour. Isn’t it about time that you let go of these blockages?

Step 5: Give up your impatience!

  • Do you always want things to be attended to immediately?
  • Are you annoyed when others are unable to keep up with your speed?
  • Are you convinced that things will not work out if you cannot see results immediately?
  • Are you of the opinion that everything has to happen fast in life?
  • Is the proverb “Rome wasn’t built in a day” incompatible with your philosophy of life?

Time flies – and you with it. Maybe you often have the feeling that you could miss out on something if you are unable to keep up. Maybe you simply overrate your chances of arriving at a result more quickly or you would even like to take counter-productive shortcuts in your developmental process sometimes. Frequently, the realisation that change needs time can prove very helpful, just like grape juice, which can only mature into noble wine when stored for an adequate amount of time.

Step 6: Let go of your fear of change!

  • Do you have difficulty facing decisions?
  • Do you dread leaving your comfort zone?
  • Are you thinking a lot about changes, but keep postponing them?
  • Are you afraid to change your daily routine?
  • Do you have difficulty implementing and seeing through planned changes?

If you are scared of changes, you will probably find yourself in a dead end one day. After all, life means change, on a large and on a small scale: You won’t be able to learn new things, your quality of life won’t improve and your problems won’t vanish into thin air on their own if you do not have the courage for changes. The longer you postpone these changes, the more energy you will have to muster to see them through.

Step 7: Brace up!

  • Do you sometimes dream of travels and adventures, but do not have the courage to make your dreams come true?
  • Do you always imagine the worst-case scenario?
  • Do you leave decisions to other people, so that you do not have to decide for yourself?
  • Have you already forfeited once-in-a-lifetime opportunities?
  • Do you avoid taking risks because you are afraid of possible dangers or failures?

Maybe you grew up in a pessimistic or anxious environment. Maybe nobody has set you the example that it sometimes needs courage to take a calculable risk in order to give one’s life the decisive turn. Maybe you are a safety freak and cut yourself off from the many opportunities life has to offer due to your lack of daring. But: “No risk, no reward!” If you are too afraid of realigning yourself, you will never be able to go from A to B in life.

Step 8: Learn from your mistakes!

  • Do you make others the scapegoat for your mistakes?
  • Do you allow enough time for looking for solutions for a problem?
  • Do you find it tedious to look for alternatives?
  • Do have difficulty giving up inhibiting habits?
  • Do you sometimes think: “I am never going to do that again!” but do it again anyway?

If you want to learn from your mistakes, you won’t be able to avoid honest self-reflection. It is important to have a close look at what has gone wrong, what has been your contribution to a mistake and what you are trying to push to the back of your mind because you refuse to believe it. Mind the warning signs that are trying to show you that you have pursued the wrong path before going on. You need a healthy dose of self-responsibility in order to learn from your mistakes and be eventually able to benefit from them.

Step 9: Do not cede your power to others!

  • Does your well-being depend on how kindly others treat you?
  • Do you do things because others have persuaded you to do them, because they badger you or expect you to do them, without in fact wanting to do those things?
  • Do you have difficulty setting bounds to others and saying NO?
  • Do you think a lot about how you can win over other people?
  • Is it important to you to be in everybody’s good books, because you want others to think highly of you?

As long as you give others power over yourself, you will feel dependent, uncomfortable and eventually unhappy. You will be dependent on others, because your feelings are bound to their opinion. You allow others to determine your self-esteem. You are becoming more and more sensitive to their criticism and turn like a weather vane in order to please them. Isn’t it about time to stop doing that?

Step 10: Rejoice over other people’s happiness/success!

  • Do you envy others instead of being delighted for them because they have made their dreams a reality?
  • Do you have difficulty being on friendly terms with or spending time with people who earn more money than you do?
  • Do you sometimes gloat over other people’s misfortunes?
  • Are you unwilling to listen to other people’s success stories?
  • Do you sometimes feign to be happier or wealthier than is actually the case?

Do you know the difference between envy and jealousy? Jealous people think: “I want to have/be able to do what you have/are able to do!” But envious people think: “I want to have/be able to do what you have/are able to do, but I do not want you to have it/be able to do it!” Jealousy – if it is not too pronounced – can be a corrective, but envy is highly unhealthy! It is grounded on deep feelings of insecurity and problems of self-worth – and certainly does not get you anywhere.

If you want to tap your full potential, then you should start with becoming fully aware of your blockages in order to dissolve them gradually. After all, they waste a lot of your energies. Whatever you have planned for this life … stop being your own worst enemy!

 

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WHY GOD THE FATHER NEEDS A MOTHER GODDESS AT HIS SIDE

Right from the start, I want to make it clear that this is no religious article, because I would not be the right person for that. But it gives one cause for thought when we keep hearing about God the Father without any mention of a woman at his side.

Actually it would be logical and would correspond with mankind’s dualistic thinking if there were also a female version of the male-dominated image of God. It was the nature of ancient religions, for instance, for the Greeks and Romans, that there were Goddesses next to the Gods. But now many people think of esoteric fantasy figures when they hear the word Goddess.

THE GREAT GODDESS IS PUSHED OFF THE THRONE

Before the patriarchally oriented religions suppressed the old sanctuaries and traditions of the mother-religions, all over Europe and in the main parts of Asia people worshipped the triune Great Mother as the central deity. She was the Goddess of love, fertility and death in one person. Her heyday was between 10.000 and 2.000 B.C. Huge monuments, temples and temple-like complexes, stone circles, hill mounds, cave-paintings, carved and clay figures with characteristic fertility features, testified to a common worship of the Great Goddess.

Towards the end of this epoch the unthinkable happened. Martial hordes of men ransacked the peaceful peoples, killed men, boys, old people, and took women and girls as their prisoners. They subjugated the people and installed themselves as rulers on the newly-erected throne.  This was the beginning of the end of the mother-religions.

Ironically, in our modern and enlightened times, where religious life has drastically lost its importance, an increasing number of women turn to the Great Goddess again. It does not need a new religion to rediscover and recognize the divine feminine inside us, and integrate it in our everyday life. By allowing the female primordial power in our lives, we connect with all the women of the world through the morphogenetic field (1). And, therefore, with the Goddess aspect which every woman holds.

THE GREAT GODDESS IS INSIDE US

Many women, who have grown up in a patriarchally oriented religion, find it hard to suddenly imagine God as a woman and trust in a female divine source. But this is not really the point. I personally do not believe in a God in heaven and, therefore, will not believe in a Goddess in heaven. Reviving the belief in a Great Goddess contains an important aspect: the divine is inside us, and not outside. Therefore, the Great Goddess is also an aspect of our femininity.

I would like to quote KRYON/Lee Carroll from the book ‘Lifting the Veil’ (2) as something to make us think:

COMMON IDEA OF GOD

“Imagine for a moment that Earth was made up of all dogs. No humans, just dogs. And imagine that dogs had your intelligence. Evolution had somehow gone differently, and intelligent dogs now ran the world, just like you do now. They also have their problems, just like you do now. And dogs, just like you, have their own spiritual thoughts on what God must be like, and naturally they have religion, they pray and ponder and have intellectual ideas, just like you.

Now, if I could take you to this metaphoric place where all of these intelligent dogs lived in their civilisation, let me tell you what their religion would look like. First of all, God would be a dog! And each breed of dog would have a photo of God represented as their own breed, of course. All of the angels would be dogs with wings and one of the things they would do would be to constantly smell each other! How far do you want me to go with this? You know what’s coming next, don’t you? Society’s proof that God is a dog is that the very name of their kind, spelled backwards, is God! Shall I continue? And you know, even though it’s funny, that I’m right.”

Therefore, fellow women, do not look for the Goddess as a female counterpart of God on the outside, but inside yourselves. This is the only place you will find her! Just like Yin would be incomplete without Yang, and Yang without Yin, it needs a male and female aspect of God. The latter all women carry inside us, we only have to rediscover it, and consciously live it!

(1) energetic field of the mass consciousness

(2) Carroll, Lee: Kryon. Lifting the Veil, The Kryon Writings, Inc., p. 65-66

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STOP GETTING IN YOUR OWN WAY AND GIVE UP YOUR FEAR OF CHANGE!

10 Steps for women who finally want to fulfil their potential

James Gordon says that there is no such thing as people with or without willpower… There are people who are ready for change, and those who are not.

Fear of change … who does not know this? No matter whether it is a job change, a separation, a move, or a stylistic type of change. Many people are scared of not being able to cope with change, of making the wrong decision, or being criticized or rejected by others due to change.

Then there are the changes which are beyond our control. They strike us from the outside, such as being abandoned, losing a dear person or being faced with an illness.

Life is like a string of pearls full of changes

However, let’s stick with those changes we can decide upon, we can influence and consciously control.

It might be worth remembering that our life is a continual stream of changes, no matter whether we want them or not. They are either the result of certain stages in life, such as

pregnancy – birth – infancy – childhood –  puberty – adulthood – death,

or own decisions – and, of course changes of other people who we are closely connected with.

How to successfully handle changes

Some changes are rejected from the start, and therefore, blighted, before they have even been well thought out. It would be helpful to write down the pros and cons to gain an overview of the possible effects of a change. Sometimes our gut feelings play a trick on us, but as soon as we put the facts down, our fears are shrinking.

Sometimes life is almost crying out for change but we simply do not want to think about it, due to the strain and consequences. However, many of the things we do not change, will be changed through others … not always to our advantage!

Everything has got its time quality, therefore the right time for change is very important. If we postpone changes, we might miss the ideal time, which consequently results in more effort or hassle. We may be pushed into a passive role which stops us from being able to make our own decisions.

It may also occur that we blandish situations that should be changed, until we find no real need for change anymore. This head-in-the-sand policy only offers supposed protection for a short time, but may end up in a real mess.

We have often said to others, ‘I can’t’, whereas we really mean ‘I don’t want to, leave me alone!’ Which brings us back to the quotation at the start. Of course, there are situations, where we have been weakened, or we are mentally not capable of generating changes on a large scale. But we should honestly question ourselves as to whether we are using an excuse.

Needless to say, there are situations in life which confront us with changes, we cannot, or we can hardly influence. However, all the really important decisions may turn our life upside down, but, in the long term, contain the chance of a much better quality in life, or a personal developing step. Believe me, I know what I am talking about!

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A BATH FOR THE PASSIONATE

This is a suggestion from the book ‚Wonnestunden‘ (1) for an aphrodisiac oil mixture for a beautiful bath with a partner.

INGREDIENTS

  • a handful of sea salt
  • 5 drops of cinnamon oil
  • 3 drops of peppermint oil
  • 6 drops of patchouli oil
  • 3 drops of vanilla oil

Mix the oils with the sea salt before you add them to your bath water. Remember that you should only use high quality oils!

This mixture of scents is supposed to provide a promising, sensual, intoxicating atmosphere.

Warning: essential oils can cause allergic reactions. Therefore, first try a little of the oil on your lower arm, before applying. Pregnant women may react to cinnamon and peppermint oil. Use organic oils, if possible.

(1) Krahl, Gisela; Riepe, Andrea: Wonnestunden Reinbeck 1995 (currently out of print)

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WHAT THE DIVINE WITHIN EVERY WOMAN HAS GOT TO DO WITH THE 7th FEMALE CHAKRA

Every woman bears female spirituality, whether she is aware of it or not. Whether she accepts this fact or not. Whether she finds it embarrassing or not. Whether she finds it ridiculous or not. To reconnect with their female spirituality, women neither have to read spiritual, religious or esoteric books, nor do they have to attend courses of this sort.

In mythology the spiritual woman has always been called the great wise one, primeval woman, the knowing or the great goddess. Old tradition portrays her as the life-giving creator and nourishing mother. At the same time, she is healer and destroyer in one. But what has this got to do with the 7th female chakra? Let’s have a look at some typical statements, which usually occur, when women are denied the right to spirituality.

AS WOMAN YOU MIGHT HAVE HEARD OR READ SENTENCES LIKE…

  • “Eve seduced Adam. She was the first sinner.”
  • “Women should not be allowed to perform religious ceremonies/actions.”
  • “Religion is men’s privilege.”
  • “Women are unclean (particularly during menstruation).”
  • “This woman is a witch. There is something strange about her activities.”
  • “Women should be excluded from religious/spiritual activities.”
  • “Catholic women are not allowed to become priests, bishops or pope.”
  • “Priests are not allowed to marry so that they are not distracted from their church office by wives and children.”
  • “I am not surprised women landed on the stake in former times.

WHAT HAS THIS GOT TO DO WITH THE SEVENTH CHAKRA?

The seventh chakra or energy centre is located in the middle of the head and is opened towards the top. Through this chakra women, as well as men, are connected with the mystical, the universal, the divine, or whatever you want to call it. Hence, a higher level of awareness or creation.

In the relationship with the divine women have always played a dominant role – even in the patriarchal religions. However, this has often been written out of history, and up to now this important role of women is often kept secret.

Particularly now, in these scientifically orientated times, many women neglect their female spirituality. Maybe it’s because they think spirituality and religion is the same, and they do not want to identify with the church and religion. But, at the same time, an increasing number of women are looking for themselves. They have got stuck in a dead-end-road or have other problems. In the course of the search they discover their natural and intuitive access to spirituality. Some even open up for the spiritual world, contacting their higher self, or other spiritual beings for the first time in their lives.

TYPICAL TOPICS CORRELATING WITH THE SEVENTH FEMALE CHAKRA:

  • Being closed for spiritual topics
  • Not trusting the impulses from above
  • Not recognizing one’s own divinity
  • Confusing religiosity with spirituality
  • Not allowing female spirituality
  • Lacking trust in the guidance of spirit guides
  • Blocked or weak development of consciousness
  • Neglecting higher beings, such as angels
  • Dismissing spirituality as trifles

The following table (according to C.N. Shealy and C.M. Myss, The Creation of Health, 1983) shows what disorders can be related to a weak seventh female chakra:

organs mental and psychological areas possible physical disorders
seventh chakra  

 

muscle system

 

 

 

nervous system

 

skin and bones

 

pineal gland

 lacking trust in life

 

gaining attitudes, values, moral and courage

 

humanitarian fields

 

selflessness

 

lacking concept of the entire patterns in life

 paralysis

 

genetic disorders

 

 

 

bone cancer

 

multiple sclerosis

 

degenerative disease of the nervous system

HOW CAN WE REBALANCE THE SEVENTH FEMALE CHAKRA?

As with all the other chakras there are different ways to strengthen and balance the seventh chakra, such as:

  • on the energetic level through physical exercises or yoga
  • with the help of body-energy-work
  • with the help of meditation
  • on the emotional level through talking therapy, family settings, kinesiology, astrological sessions, etc,
  • on the mental level through positive thinking, mental training, etc.
  • on the spiritual level through transformation of karmic blockages, or oaths with the help of spiritual tools

 

 

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HOW MUCH APHRODITE IS IN YOU?

You can read about Goddesses everywhere. A trendy hype? A new eso-wave? No. Because the so-called Goddesses have always symbolized different aspects of the female soul. And all the Goddesses together (Aphrodite, Artemis, Athena, Demeter, Hestia, Hera and Persephone) represent the whole image of your soul.

We all have more or less characteristics of one, or the other, Goddess in us: maybe a little bit of Aphrodite (beauty and love)? Maybe a bit more of Hera (marriage and family)? Maybe a bit less of Artemis (independence and self-determination)? And this can change in the course of our lives.

HOW MUCH APHRODITE IS IN YOU?

If you want to get to know yourself better, the aspects of the Goddesses, and the appropriate inner images (archetypes) can help you. Every Goddess reflects the different lights and shadows inside every woman. And they represent you as an individual ‘Goddess’.

Be careful that you do not slip into judgements or clichés when you think about the Goddess-aspects of Aphrodite in you. My advice should only serve as a suggestion.

ASPECTS OF APHRODITE: A BRIEF SUMMARY

Women with particularly typical Aphrodite aspects: Marilyn Monroe – Grace Kelly – Cindy Crawford – Penélope Cruz – Scarlett Johansson – ‘Carrie Bradshaw’ (‘Sex and the City’)

Typical topics of the Aphrodite-woman: joy – love – beauty – sexuality – sensuality – coquetry – the pretty, little girl – Daddy’s darling – secret lover – erotic – seduce – opulent jewellery – female rivalry – falling in love – creativity; but also: dolly – cuteness – not wanting to grow up – competing with one’s own mother – femme fatale

Typical for Aphrodite woman: beautiful clothes – girlish charm – dressed up by parents / or being particularly strictly treated – free love – changing partners – afraid of partnerships – preferring sex to love – strong self-confidence – sense for aesthetics – variety – intense life – artist – passion – envied/feared by women – big social circle – parties – being the centre of attention – spontaneity – love for children (preferably the ones of other mothers) – grace – vitality

Shadows: conflict between sexual and long-lasting relationships – being impressed/blinded by externals – identification through externals – sexual dependencies – problems with growing older

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HOW MUCH ARTEMIS IS IN YOU?

The American psychologist Jean Shinoda Bolen was one of the first who connected the different female soul aspects with the Greek Goddesses. As every Goddess represents certain female characteristics – the light and shadow in every woman – it can become very informative for us women to deal with the female Goddesses-aspects. Particularly at times when we want to get to know ourselves better.

If you want to find out more about yourself, the aspects of the Goddesses and the appropriate soul images (archetypes) can help you. If you unite all your Goddess aspects in your very personal way, then others will perceive you as the unique woman and ‘Goddess’ who you really are. It is important to recognize and deal with your shadows as well as your light aspects.

Be careful that you do not slip into judgements or clichés when you think about the Goddess-aspects of Artemis in you. My advice should only serve as a suggestion.

ASPECTS OF ARTEMIS: A BRIEF SUMMARY

Women with particularly typical Artemis aspects: Angelina Jolie (as Goodwill Ambassador for refugees) – Jean of Arc (French freedom fighter) – Florence Nightingale (founder of nursing care) – Berta Cáceres (human rights’ and environmental activist) – Gloria Steinem (feminist and fighter for women’s rights) – Hildegard of Bingen (universal scholar) – Maria Montessori (doctor and pedagogic reformist) – Simone de Beauvoir (feminist writer) – Dian Fossey (zoologist and behaviourist)

Typical topics/roles of the Artemis-woman: being single/waiving partnership – independence (of men) – project leaders – environmental activist – dominant role of work – strong self-awareness – urge for travelling and discovering – ability to perform – high competence in what she is doing – social engagement – lesbian – older sister – feminist – female buddy

Typical for Artemis woman: boyish – single – brave – self-determined – targeted – independent – no or rare relationships with a man (and if, then rather sisterly) – competitive – performance oriented – defending oneself – helping abused women – nature-oriented – scientist – traveller (not fixed to a home)

Shadows: ruthlessness – despising vulnerability – remoteness – coldness – potential for anger – rejecting – hurtful

In one of my next blogs I will introduce you to the Goddess-aspects of Demeter.

 

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„PUT YOURSELF IN HIS SHOES!“ – HOW LIFETIME LOVE CAN WORK

 At first glance the topic ‘relationship’ seems to be full of contradictions. Because, on the one hand, never before have so many people taken love with a partner so seriously as they do today. And also there is a greater need for stability and security in a relationship. On the other hand, never have more relationships broken up than today.

You can only experience a long-lasting loving relationship, if both of you manage, at the same time, to enable your relationship to remain as satisfying as possible. Only then can you be sure that you both remain in the partnership voluntarily and permanently.

LOVE IS BLIND

At the beginning of your romantic relationship you might have had the feeling of having known your partner for a long time. Your amorous love, at the start, made you meet each other in the depths of your hearts. Not only physically, but also mentally, you merged with one another. And if you are familiar with the idea of reincarnation: yes, sometimes there is a meeting again, or some form of recognition by two souls who have made deep experiences together in former lives. But these re-encounters do not always happen in the romantic way books about soul mates and dual souls try to tell us. But this is a different story…

Everyday life proves, in the end, how deep your love actually is. At the beginning of your relationship you can easily ignore the things that do not connect but separate you. However, as time goes by, this seems to get harder and harder. You possibly find your partner strange, and certain characteristics start to annoy you. This experience may bring the first disappointment, or at worst, the beginning of the end. What is to be done?

“PUT YOURSELF IN HIS SHOES!”

_ Begin to explore and understand your partner, his world and way of thinking. Give up the idea that he should be the same as you.

_ Whenever you feel the urge, tell your partner about yourself, your feelings, thoughts and your personal life history.

_ Be open, and naturally inquisitive, when your partner talks about himself. Whatever you may find strange: talk about it! It is better to understand him than criticize him later.

_ Give your partner the feeling that you respect the way he is, even if he thinks, feels and acts differently.

_ Try to feel like him, see and try to understand life through his eyes, considering his family and social background. For a moment, try to see the world not from your perspective, but from his. Put yourself in his shoes, so to speak.

_ Accept his being different as an important experience, and valuable addition, to your point of view and philosophy of life. You do not have to take on his values, if you do not agree with them, but at least, be open for them!

_ Develop an honest and sincere interest in your partner, even if you think you already know him inside out. Discover your partner over and over again!

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No longer get in your own way and STOP BEING IMPATIENT!

10 steps for women who eventually want to fulfil their potential

‘Grass will not grow quicker if you pull on it.’ Unknown

Time flies by – and so do we. Maybe you sometimes feel you are missing out on something when you cannot keep up with the high speed. You may overestimate your chances of coming to a quicker conclusion, or you want to take a shortcut. In the end, you find this was all counter-productive. It might help you to realize that every change takes its own time. Just as grapes only turn into fine wine after a long period of fermentation and maturation. Therefore, my little invitation to self-reflection:

  • Do you always want to have things done immediately?
  • Are you annoyed if other people cannot keep up with your speed?
  • Do you assume something does not work because you cannot see any immediate results?
  • Do you think everything in life should happen quickly?
  • Does the sentence ‘A good thing takes time’ not at all correspond with your philosophy of life?
  • Are you proud of your multi-tasking abilities?
  • Do you sometimes underestimate how much time it takes to achieve a certain result?

Why we are often so impatient

In our fast-moving times we are used to the fact that everything is ‘immediately’ possible. In former times letters took days or weeks to reach the receiver, now emails or text messages arrive at the recipient within seconds. Whereas actors and actresses had to undergo thorough training before they could apply for a role, they now become famous overnight in casting shows. These observations lead to false conclusions and create the impression that also success may come without effort. But, generally, reality looks different, and therefore, you should

  • remain realistic concerning your aims and results,
  • plan for the long-term, instead of wanting to see successful results in a short time,
  • consciously allow the time which is necessary for change,
  • not try to gain anything under pressure,
  • not make your life quality dependent on results you wish for,
  • accept that improvement takes time, or will not be achieved at all.

How you can shed your impatience

It is an important step to learn to distinguish between realistic and unrealistic expectations. Needless to say, this needs honest self-reflection or external help. As long as you chase excessive expectations, which can never be realized or fulfilled, you are wasting your energy.

The present school system still involves judgement according to achievement. However, try not to measure your progress and results with other people’s achievements. You are an individual personality, with your individual strengths and weaknesses. Therefore, it does not make sense to measure yourself against others.

Appreciate your partial successes!

Are you impatient because you only have your final aim in mind? Then you should remember that it often takes little intermediate steps to reach your aim. The problem: the intermediate steps and partial successes are often not appreciated accordingly. Therefore, always remember that even the way to your aim is an important part for achieving your goal.

Shortcuts sometimes seem to be the solution when you impatiently hop from one foot to the other. But shortcuts are often connected with a loss of quality. Therefore, ponder carefully whether they only bring an advantage in time, or whether it is better to invest patience for the sake of quality.

Do not be drawn to hasty or wrong actions!

And if you belong to the impulsive people, you have surely made the experience that you acted hastily and wrongly due to impatience and frustration. Already Confucius said that he who has no patience in the small things, will fail the bigger plan.

There are probably areas in your life where it is absolutely clear that they need time and leisure for their development. But there are definitely also circumstances in life where you wish something might happen immediately. Therefore, look at these areas very consciously, and try to make the best, by learning to practise your patience.

 

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TESTING FIVE COMMON BELIEFS ON SUSTAINABILITY

Paul H. Ray, Ph.D. and Sherry Ruth Anderson, Ph.D. say that in the United States there are 50 million people whose views, values and lifestyle have drastically changed. They think in an ecological and planetary way. They are aware of the importance of relationships, and a female view of things. They emphasize their spiritual and psychological development, do not have a high regard for the great institutions of modern life, including political parties (left and right), at the same time rejecting materialism and status symbols. This is 26 per cent of the adult population in the U.S.A. In the early sixties, less than five per cent of the population had undergone this transformation. According to Ray and Anderson, a very similar process is taking place in Europe.

Yes, a global shift of awareness is on the increase, although our environment is unfortunately still mistreated. However, it is always a welcome sign for me when I discover articles on sustainability in women’s magazines. Then I really know that the message is spreading via mass media. I was inspired by an article in the magazine BRIGITTE.DE 20/2016 which I would like to share with you.

FIRST BELIEF: PAPERBAGS ARE MORE ENVIRONMENTALLY FRIENDLY THAN PLASTIC BAGS

Plastic bags, which are made using valuable oil, consist of long-lasting synthetic material. This material is not naturally degradable. As a result, huge amounts of rubbish and small plastic particles end up in the oceans, eaten by fish and marine animals. They either die a cruel death, or are subsequently eaten by us.

However, paper bags are not the ideal solution either. Paper degrades more quickly and easily than plastic, but needs much more energy resources during production (according to Thomas Tischer, German environment aid), namely electricity, water and also chemicals.

It would be sustainable to simply use your own bag for shopping.

SECOND BELIEF: THE CONSUMPTION OF TOFU AND SOYA DRINKS DESTROYS THE RAIN FOREST

It is true: we consume a lot of soya resulting in the destruction of rain forest. But this is certainly not due to vegetarians and tofu-sausage-lovers, but is more the result of the steaks on your plate, and the salami on your bread. Because the majority of German soya imports are fed to cattle, pigs and poultry, as there is not sufficient farmland (for example in Germany) to grow protein plants. The fodder soya, which is, by the way, predominantly genetically modified, comes from the former rainforest areas. Only 2 % of soya is used to produce tofu and co.

It would be sustainable to buy animal products (if at all) of organic quality, from the farmer, or at the market. Ecological farming restricts the number of animals to the land available.

It would be even better to eat more vegetable protein which we do not only find in soya but also in many other different grain types, such as beans, peas, lupines or lentils.

THIRD BELIEF: OLD HOUSEHOLD APPLIANCES CAUSE POLLUTION

Yes, it is true: older fridges, dishwashers or washing machines are energy-wasters compared with modern household appliances. In the early nineties, a dishwasher consumed more than twice as much energy as an energy-efficient current model. The conclusion for environmentally-conscious customers is: if I swap the old one for a new one, I save money and protect our climate. Unfortunately, it is forgotten that also the production of appliances consumes resources. The shorter the life of devices, the higher environmental pollution! Therefore, save up money for a high-quality appliance. This strategy has paid off in my case. My washing machine has been happily working for me for the last 15 years without one single repair. And I hope it will continue for some time more!

It would be sustainable to use technical devices as long as possible, even if they consume more electricity and water. Do not constantly replace smartphones and computers with the latest models.

FOURTH BELIEF: FRUIT AND VEGETABLES SHOULD ONLY BE BOUGHT FROM YOUR REGION

Fresh fruit and vegetables, from the surrounding region, do not only taste better, but are also climate-friendly. Energy-consuming transport, and long storage times are eliminated. But: if you buy fruit and vegetables out of season (shortly before a new harvest), you are better off with products from overseas. Why? Fruit and vegetables are transported by ships which produce less carbon dioxide than local products, which have to be stored in refrigerated warehouses for weeks and months. With every week and month of storage the energy balance gets worse.

It would be sustainable to do without exotic fruits, out of season, as they have to be transported by planes. That apart we should buy fruit and vegetables only when they are in season in the region, to avoid long storage periods.

FIFTH BELIEF: A WASHING MACHINE’S SHORT PROGRAMME SAVES ENERGY

Unfortunately, the short washing programme only saves time, but not energy. On the contrary: more electricity and water are consumed per kilogram washing, than with the normal washing programme. Choosing the eco-programme saves energy, as the temperature is kept lower. After all, the heating up of the water in the machine needs the most energy during the washing process. In this mode, the washing takes longer, but saves a third of the energy.

It would be sustainable to wash everything in eco-programme, unless you suffer from allergies. Only if you are allergic to house-dust, or suffer from fungal disease or diarrhoea, should you use the normal programme, at 60°C.

Women