In these times of ‘anything-is-possible-if you-really-want-it’ there are numerous offers, aiming to lead women to their own femininity. But, unfortunately, some of them lead nowhere. Why? Because women who look for their femininity by concentrating on external matters, trying to express their femininity with frills will never find their path. They remain on the surface instead of entering a deep inner process.

THE PROBLEM WITH MISTAKEN FEMININITY

More than ever, a huge sector of industry benefits from mistaken femininity these days. Fashion and cosmetic companies, beauty surgeons, and fitness gurus, direct the lives of many women every day, trying to tell them what they should look like, and what they should do (meaning what they should buy) to appear more attractive, and feminine, to other women (rivals), and men (prospective partner or playmate).

But genuine femininity has nothing to do with pretty dresses; even with women’s self-discovery courses, with women’s business, cosmetics, jewellery, sexy lingerie or so-called arts of seduction.

Because femininity is:

• Not an attitude to life
• not belonging to the female sex,
• not a conscious decision to be a woman,
• not emancipation
• not a special orientation.

Real femininity is a primal force, an elemental essence, a certain inner awareness which women are naturally equipped with. However, it has been hidden and covered up by the mistaken image of femininity our society tries to promote.

BUT WE WOMEN DELUDE OURSELVES 

Our generation is living in times of great illusion and self-deception. The virtual world around us strengthens the belief that we women have to present ourselves as even better and more beautiful than we naturally are. Just think of digital techniques. We can alter photos, get rid of wrinkles, and fat, before we post them on Facebook and other social media networks. Or, before we attach them to our letters of application, or upload them on online dating-services.

The Swiss author Maitreyi D. Piontek has got to the heart of this mistaken femininity. She says that women spray themselves with artificial pheromones, enlarge their breasts with silicon, inject Botox under their skins, or spice themselves up with drugs. [1] Of course, this is not applicable to all women, but globally there is a strong tendency in this direction.

EVEN SPIRITUALITY IS SOMETIMES MISTAKEN 

Spirituality has not necessarily to do with religion; nor with belief, esoteric, meditation, yoga, tantra, alleged dual souls, Bach flowers, or healing stones. Because, also spirituality is something like an elemental essence which we women naturally bear inside. No matter whether we are aware of it, or not, our mind rejects it, or not. Femininity and spirituality are like two sisters who are close.

In trying to escape from the spiritual-commercial labyrinth, in which many women have trapped themselves in a search for their femininity, it needs courageous women, women …

• who walk their individual path,
• who want to get in contact with their feminine soul again,
• who want to abandon the commercial woman,
• who want to rediscover their spirituality, and live their femininity.

Let’s return to the widespread belief that you have to work hard, and train long, to gain more femininity. The fallacy is that neither spirituality, nor femininity, can be assimilated, or trained, with special exercises. Women carry femininity and spirituality deep inside. It is more about freeing ourselves from old, rigid layers of mistaken femininity.

ARE YOU READY FOR YOUR OWN FEMALE PATH? 

There are various ways to rediscover and live your own femininity. It needs a genuine desire and an honest self-responsibility because …

• old clichés have to be abandoned,
• male and female polarities have to be recognized,
• the female roots have to be discovered,
• emotional injuries have to be healed,
• and female healing has to be allowed.

You can imagine how important it is that, particularly now, many women care about their ‘female return home’. But it is even more important that YOU start finding, and living, your individual path.

[1] Piontek, Maitreyi. D.: Weibliches Manifest, München 2009, S. 25.