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NO LONGER GET IN YOUR OWN WAY AND DO NOT ENVY OTHERS (10/10)

10 steps for women who eventually want to fulfil their potential (10/10)

Wilhelm Busch once said that envy is the most honest form of recognition

Whereas jealousy means ‘I want to have what you have’, being envious means ‘I want to have what you have, and I do not want you to have it!’. While a little bit of jealousy adds a certain amount of flavour to a dish, like salt and pepper, envy means emptying the whole pepper mill on it.

Furthermore, envy indicates a lack of self-worth, and hints at self-pity, which results in comparing oneself with others, and feeling disadvantaged.

And the other way round: if we feel envied, it is the unspoken confession that we are better or more successful, or simply luckier. At least, at the first, more superficial glance. However, if you take a closer look at the spiritual laws, you will discover that everything that happens to us is the result of cause and effect.

Envy is of no benefit because…

  • you benefit more from concentrating on your own life, needs and successes
  • you are happier when content with what you have
  • it is better to concentrate on your abilities and talents rather than peering at others
  • it is better to define personal levels and priorities
  • envy can destroy relationships, which you definitely do not want
  • envy weakens your self-worth, your self-esteem, and your self-confidence, which is the last thing you want

THOUGHTS ON THE TOPIC ‘ENVY’

  • Nobody knows what is going on behind the closed doors of other people. Maybe they pay a high price for their success.
  • Envy is like poison. It has a direct effect on your body and weakens it. Nelson Mandela once said that envy is like drinking poison, hoping that it might kill your enemies. Envy always works against you!
  • If you are envied, do not be offended or angry – the successful German TV presenter Robert Lembke used to say ‘Pity you get for free, envy you must earn’.
  • Watch yourself and recognize in which situations you feel envy and why. Only when you see through your behaviour patterns, can you consciously work on them.
  • Admit to your insecurity, your frustration or self-pity in connection with envy. You do not have to be ashamed! But the longer you suppress these emotions, the deeper you go down the spiral of envy.
  • Change your point of view of life, and abandon your role as a victim. As long as you believe you were disadvantaged as a child, and still are as an adult, you will always envy other people. Realize that other people’s lives, which you probably envy, are not perfect, or without problems.
  • Stop thinking about what is fair or not. You do not know about the higher plan behind other people’s lives. You have no idea about their learning tasks and developing steps, and what challenges they have to face. Maybe their hardest learning tasks feel easy for you.
  • Have the courage to change your living conditions if you are unhappy. Nagging, envy and moaning only cost valuable energy, but are of no use. Oh well, as the saying goes: change it, love it or leave it!

 

Women&Consciousness
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No longer get in your own way and MUSTER ALL YOUR COURAGE!

10 steps for women who eventually want to fulfil their potential

“Do not be too shy and hesitant in your actions. The entire life is an experiment. The more you experiment, the better.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

Nothing ventured, nothing gained! This is not a new revelation, but the lost chance on inspiring experiences, necessary changes, or important steps forward.

Life without calculable risk remains shallow, just like a boring watery soup. And the colourful life might roll past you while you are incapable of making a decision because of doubts and despondency.

Where do you actually stand in your present life?

Maybe in your life there are also a few brave steps waiting for you? What about the following questions for a brief self-reflection:

  • Do you find your life an obstacle run?
  • Are you facing a decision you are scared of, and you do not want to commit yourself?
  • Do you implement your wishes and dreams?
  • Do you act too impulsively because thinking too much scares you?
  • Are you dreaming of adventures which will never happen?
  • Do you leave important decisions about you and your life to other people?
  • Do you tend to be pessimistic?

It is important to listen to your feelings when making decisions. But be aware how strongly your gut feeling can be influenced by artificially construed fears.

Your fellow people’s remarks may energetically weigh you down and unsettle you. These people haven’t got enough courage themselves, or they do not want you to walk your path determinedly, and to make your decisions bravely, just because they fail in doing so.

Do not be misled! Courage can be trained, just like muscles!

How to get out of the despondency trap:

  • Make your decisions rationally, if you are emotionally insecure, and do not know what is right or wrong.
  • Get plenty of information before you make significant changes in your life.
  • Grab the opportunities for change which life offers you, and do not let them roll past you.
  • Do not only prepare plan A, but also plan B (or even plan C).
  • If you feel insecure, take small steps to get closer to your aim.
  • Learn to distinguish between rational and irrational thoughts which might have a negative influence on your decision.
  • Realize that there is no life without risks, unless you spend the rest of your life in bed (and even there you might feel claustrophobic).

Nothing ventured, nothing gained! But if you are courageous, step by step you will become more confident, you will suffer less from mental stress, you will see your aims more clearly, and eventually reach them through increased willpower. And one day you will have forgotten what you were scared of.

 

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No longer get in your own way and STOP BEING IMPATIENT!

10 steps for women who eventually want to fulfil their potential

‘Grass will not grow quicker if you pull on it.’ Unknown

Time flies by – and so do we. Maybe you sometimes feel you are missing out on something when you cannot keep up with the high speed. You may overestimate your chances of coming to a quicker conclusion, or you want to take a shortcut. In the end, you find this was all counter-productive. It might help you to realize that every change takes its own time. Just as grapes only turn into fine wine after a long period of fermentation and maturation. Therefore, my little invitation to self-reflection:

  • Do you always want to have things done immediately?
  • Are you annoyed if other people cannot keep up with your speed?
  • Do you assume something does not work because you cannot see any immediate results?
  • Do you think everything in life should happen quickly?
  • Does the sentence ‘A good thing takes time’ not at all correspond with your philosophy of life?
  • Are you proud of your multi-tasking abilities?
  • Do you sometimes underestimate how much time it takes to achieve a certain result?

Why we are often so impatient

In our fast-moving times we are used to the fact that everything is ‘immediately’ possible. In former times letters took days or weeks to reach the receiver, now emails or text messages arrive at the recipient within seconds. Whereas actors and actresses had to undergo thorough training before they could apply for a role, they now become famous overnight in casting shows. These observations lead to false conclusions and create the impression that also success may come without effort. But, generally, reality looks different, and therefore, you should

  • remain realistic concerning your aims and results,
  • plan for the long-term, instead of wanting to see successful results in a short time,
  • consciously allow the time which is necessary for change,
  • not try to gain anything under pressure,
  • not make your life quality dependent on results you wish for,
  • accept that improvement takes time, or will not be achieved at all.

How you can shed your impatience

It is an important step to learn to distinguish between realistic and unrealistic expectations. Needless to say, this needs honest self-reflection or external help. As long as you chase excessive expectations, which can never be realized or fulfilled, you are wasting your energy.

The present school system still involves judgement according to achievement. However, try not to measure your progress and results with other people’s achievements. You are an individual personality, with your individual strengths and weaknesses. Therefore, it does not make sense to measure yourself against others.

Appreciate your partial successes!

Are you impatient because you only have your final aim in mind? Then you should remember that it often takes little intermediate steps to reach your aim. The problem: the intermediate steps and partial successes are often not appreciated accordingly. Therefore, always remember that even the way to your aim is an important part for achieving your goal.

Shortcuts sometimes seem to be the solution when you impatiently hop from one foot to the other. But shortcuts are often connected with a loss of quality. Therefore, ponder carefully whether they only bring an advantage in time, or whether it is better to invest patience for the sake of quality.

Do not be drawn to hasty or wrong actions!

And if you belong to the impulsive people, you have surely made the experience that you acted hastily and wrongly due to impatience and frustration. Already Confucius said that he who has no patience in the small things, will fail the bigger plan.

There are probably areas in your life where it is absolutely clear that they need time and leisure for their development. But there are definitely also circumstances in life where you wish something might happen immediately. Therefore, look at these areas very consciously, and try to make the best, by learning to practise your patience.

 

Women&Consciousness