They love each other.

They love and need each other.

They love and support each other.

They love and ignore each other.

They love and annoy each other.

They love and hate each other.

They love and fight each other.

There is hardly another emotional connection between two people that polarizes as much as the relationship between mothers and daughters. Sons already start in their early childhood to distance themselves from their mothers, and start to turn to their fathers, or other male contact persons as models. Normally mothers accept this as they want to see their sons become independent and strong men one day.


For daughters, their mothers are the perfect example of female being. Many girls identify with their mothers, take them as role models, imitate them – or totally refuse them, due to disappointments, or physical/emotional injuries.

Mothers nourish their daughters: they give them nest warmth, comfort, encouragement, understanding, and are their closest confidant. In the eyes of little girls mothers know everything, calm things down, perform miracles in the kitchen, and are successful in their jobs.

Mothers encourage their daughters to take on the roles they have shown them because they know them and identify with them. However, one day, at the latest during puberty, this close relationship changes.

Daughters disentangle from their mothers, and often fierce battles arise. The release-process, which boys experience, step by step, from an early age, strikes mothers and daughters at the time of puberty. Some women are not able to disentangle from their mothers without painful emotions and guilty feelings which persist into old age.

The course for the education of the girl is already set. It is shaping for the whole life. The first years decide whether mothers encourage their daughters in being a woman, weaken them, inspire, or restrict them. It depends on the individual woman how they handle or get rid of these impressions.


Who actually is my mother?

Why is she the way she is?

How has she disappointed me?

How have I disappointed her?

What does she suffer from?

Do I have a vision of how my mother should be?

Do I idealize her?